I Am a Survivor

i once waited for laundry to dry

it was awful

Considering I was sitting on my back patio in my underwear with my jeans on the clothesline in January

Was out there a few days actually

fun fact, the water doesn’t dry off as much as it freezes in

had to wait for a warm day i lost a quarter of my thigh to frostbite

i….. i ate a baby sparrow to nourish myself

i plucked it’s feathers to keep my other thigh warm

i wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for that baby sparrow

unfortunately, that baby sparrow can’t be here

i thank it for its sacrifice

but in hindsight…

I’m not sure why i didn’t use the fire pit that was right next to me…..

u wut m8?

Wrestle Rant 3 - The Best in the World

If I can be serious for a moment, Canada produces some of the finest pure wrestling talents in the world. Credit that mainly to the influence of the Hart family. Aside from the Harts, the dungeon, or any ties to the family name a wrestler may have, we have seen some fine fresh faces from North the US border. The Winnipeg battle of the best of the world, however, is coming by surprise January 4 at the Tokyo Dome. Alpha vs Omega. Kenny Omega vs Chris Jericho.

Source @IAmJericho tweet

At first I thought this was a great troll image as there has been some twitter words going back and forth between the two about how good Omega really is with his 6-star matches not even being seen and how Jericho holds legitimate claims with his 27 year carrier in "the big leagues" holding nearly any title you can think of for WWE/WWF including a record 9 time Intercontinental, 6 time world, 2 time US, European, Hardcore, and multiple tag team titles. Add on to that the belts he held in various promotions like WCW and ECW between 1995-1998 when the Lion Heart began to surface as the entertainer he is, and a list of other achievements longer that the List of Jericho, but shorter than his list of 1,004 wrestling holds. Oh wow, that really took up a paragraph to which I forgot where I was even going with, but bringing it back..... Jericho does have all the evidence that he is indeed the best in the world at what he does. Not to mention he's sorta a rock star too. But, the match coming on NJPW turf is probably the biggest surprise of the year. Did anyone really see Jericho going to New Japan being a thing? I mean, we know he is bringing in talent for his upcoming cruise, to which he opened an invite for the match between the two on the boat, but Wrestle Kingdom... I can't say I would have thought of such a thing. But the way they promoted the match up was great, using twitter to bash at each other, mock the level of the organization to which they work for, state no one sees these 6 star matches because they are not in the big leagues, and Jericho calling in his ties with Omega's boss claiming a phone call will end his NJPW push. Apparently that call was made, and the dream match comes.

To note on the surprise factor, Jericho is a free agent and really can do whatever he wants. That's not a surprise. We knew we wouldn't see him on WWE tv for a bit while he toured with Fozzy and took time to promote his book. The shock comes in when you think just recently Jericho got the call to fill in at TLC for the infected wrestlers before Kurt Angle was given the go. Add on to that remembering Jericho's last match on WWE TV was a surprise SmackDown Live appearance getting his rematch for the US title in a triple threat match between him, AJ Styles, and Kevin Owens. He wasn't scheduled to compete, but was there filming Southpaw Regional Wrestling and was given the offer for the spot, and took it. So, not long after, we see him on a screen calling out Omega at WK. Crazy.

The bantering going on between the two and being the best got me thinking about where was Jericho at this same period in his career? The two started wrestling about the same age, and Omega is about 16 years into his career. With Jericho starting his career in 1990, 2006 would put him in the same time frame. Disclaimer, it may not even be fair to compare the two mens careers this way, as both are incredibly talented and took different paths, but I'm going to do it anyways since this is going to big a big time match. I don't want to dig out a whole lot of Omega's history in comparison just yet, maybe will do more on that later, but wanted to show Y2J comparable to Omega and what he was accomplishing "in the big leagues" at his age. Also to give some insight since Jericho is no longer in his prime, approaching his 50's... But he's still the best in the world, ok?

2006 was a year during a time when Jericho took a hiatus from wrestling, his WWE contract expiring August 25, 2005, and not making a return until November 19, 2007. So, it's going to cut a little short to about 15 years for Chris. This is the portion of me writing a blog where I question why I'm even writing a blog and if I should keep going...

Eh screw it

Wrestle Rant 2 - Survivor Series leadup

Ok, so TLC is done and over and now last nights Raw has kicked off Survivor Series season. A time when we should expect no titles are going to change hands for another month (oh joy). At least with the card they are promoting currently, we would expect so. At least in regards to the Universal/WWE title and the tag titles. For one, the tag title bout generated some twitter buzz between the two before the match was even official, so can't much anticipate that. Additionally, if the rumor mill regarding the main singles champions is correct, with Brock carrying the title to Wrestlemania and Jinder trying to sell WWE to the India audience, why would we expect those to change any time soon? Any ways, I really like predictions. I'm usually dead wrong on a lot of predictions, but lets try to shoot some out, shall we? First, I'll throw in my picks for both the 5 man elimination teams, predictions for those, then for the singles champ v champ matches.

Raw Mens
Kurt Angle
Finn Balor
Roman Reigns
Sheamus
Cesaro

SmackDown Live Mens
Shane McMahon
AJ Styles
Randy Orton
Bobby Roode
Rusev

I'm going to take a long shot with Shane O'Mac shooting the words "bring your gold medals" last night that this is an in ring challenge. It would be cool to see Kurt in this match and would play and could easily be written in for an appropriate level of competition. There were other 'top guys' I could throw in there, but I don't want to throw in too many conflicting personalities and rivalries, although that won't stop many. Could easily see guys like Braun Strowman, Kane, or Bray Wyatt fill any space for Raw and New Day or Dolph Ziggler for SDL. I don't think the monsters will be in any of the lineups as they look to be heading into a feud together. If one does, I expect the other to interfere and cost them an elimination. I would more than likely put money on Finn and Styles in this match to see them go face to face at some point and further hype round 2 for them.

Lets go team Raw this year.

Raw Woman's
Asuka
Nia Jax
Bailey
Sasha Banks
Mickie James

Smackdown Live Woman's
Charlotte Flair
Becky Linch
Carmella
Tamina
Naomi

I can't get past how stacked the woman's division is currently. The roster isn't deep by any means and really could see any lady fill the capacity during this match but I got to anticipate these are probably the top 5. Asuka is my question mark, as I could see she may not be placed in this type of match but on the other hand, I can see this as a platform for further promoting "no one is ready for Asuka."

Asuka as sole survivor.

Alexa Bliss vs Natalya 

 If I can be serious for a moment... Most of these matches don't really look good on paper. If you took the belts off the shoulders of all involved, I'm not a huge fan of the card and line up. That's just me though, and that's just me looking through the characters the shows have built for us. But, hey, you have to accept when you watch wrestling that the shows expects you to play stupid once and a while (WHERE IS BRAY WYATTS CHAMPIONSHIP REMATCH YOU JERKS?!) But, to the credit of Alexa Bliss, I'm not sure how she couldn't be taken legit in a match like this, being the only owner of both titles twice mind you. But, you know what? I think Bliss is going to have a drop in stock soon to make way for the Empress. Sorry bliss.

Natalya wins via Sharpshooter

Baron Corbin vs The Miz

I don't have much to say about this match. Both are punks.

Miz via distraction ringside and hissyfit from Corbin to follow.

Dean Ambros & Seth Rollins vs The Uso

You know who has been putting out amazing tag team wrestling lately? The Uso's, that's who. The matches they have had with the New Day have been pure magic. You know who has been sparking the fans though? The Shie thats who (again, no 'ld' as they only make up 2/3 the shield). Company want to push roman, so I can assume they going to push Shield more

Ambros & Rollins win.

Brock Lesner vs Jinder Mahal

Heyman cut a pretty good promo on how terrible Mahal really is. He's a tool right now to win a demographic audience. Maybe if they changed his character a bit, and not be a stereotypical arrogant foreigner, he could probably win 'his home country' more and the current country as well. I mean, wouldn't that be better for him and the company as a whole? He really doesn't need the Sing brothers gimmick. They are really just annoying. Like.... they are trying to give them all a job. They kinda just throwing talent together to make a push, even though the trio don't posses much talent at all. The brothers were in developmental but brought up way too early for the story. I've maybe seen them in one legit match. Now they are over reacting jobbers. They won't have a future in the company after this jobbing gig. Shame really. But who will they make loose. No one will believe a Brock loss....

Brock Wins.

Wrestle Rant 1 - WWE TLC 2017 Aftermath

Fun Nat fact for the day, I am a closet Profession Wrestling fan for most my life. Obviously, I'm busting the closet open right now. My chap Reuben got me watching wrestling somehow back in the mid-late 90's I want to say. I actually wasn't all that familiar with D-X, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, Mankind. For me, it was about World Championship Wrestling (WCW) and the New World Order (NWO). Hogan, Nash, Hall, Savage, Sting, Page, Booker T/Harlem Heat, Flair, Lugar, Jericho, Mysterio Jr., Dean Malinko, etc. You get the idea. Just get on the WWE network and you can get a good history lesson on that. But I want to talk about 2017, the year I got back in to wrestling. I started back actively watching regularly around December of last year. I did see some things here and there like Finn Balor making his Raw ring debut and Kevin Owens being handed the Universal Championship, but I did watch WWE programming on a regular basis until right after Shane O Mac went coast to coast to get speared by Roman Reigns and legit knocked out from the impact while Randy Orton broke character to go to McMahon children watching ringside to comfort them. I don't know why that was the spark but it did it for me. May have watched the December PPV but Royal Rumble was my entree back and the first 'PPV' I ordered since WrestleMania X-Seven (really odd way to say Seventeen, or VII.... Whatever...). I've hit every PPV since and there have been some great shows, and a lot of terrible shows. Last night's TLC PPV was something special though and I wanted to voice some of my excitement, even if it's just to the internet wall.

The Red Brand of Raw was looking to put on in my opinion what was looking to be a good card for this months show. The match up of Asuka and Emma wasn't too much of one to get excited over a good contest, but just let alone the hype of Asuka who is still undefeated among her time at NXT and now Raw was enough to pull in people for this bout. I admit I didn't closely watch this match, mostly because we had been binge watching her collection on the WWE Network about her time in NXT. You knew she was going to come out, give that smile, kick Emmas "now trending" face in, and win.  No one questioned that, and everyone dismissed Emma as crazy for her hashtags and ambition. Good on her though. Fun side fact: Emma did start the Womans Revolution, not as a pioneer of the division, but as being one of the four involved in a short match between her along Paige against the Bella twins that was so short fans started demanding more female competition to showcase their tallents, with #GiveWomenAChance trending and catching the company's attention. Sources got lost so sorry on that... Will edit if I find the source articles I got that from and give credit where credit due. (I'm not overly concerned with that right now because... well... I don't expect many people to read this.)


I don't want to spend a lot of time talking about the lead up to TLC story wise because that could take up too much time and distract even more from the purpose of this entry. In a nutshell though, the Shield had reunited and because Dean Ambrose got carried away with his mouth, it turned into a 5 on 3 handicap TLC match to headline the show (facing The Miz, Sheamus and Cesaro, Braun Strowman, and the suprising return of Kane). Fans were hyped to see the hounds of justice return and take on everyone, and there was no doubt they could and would. Finn Balor and Bray Wyatt have been feuding for months with Bray facing the Demon, the Man, and now was presenting Sister Abigail. Big sis has been a part of Brays character for ages, and I've read a few rumors about how Abby would manifest herself into the WWE Universe. I honestly didn't expect it to be an alter ego of Bray much like the Demon is one for Finn. With Sissy introduced to the world through promos, cheap visual effects, and Finn introducing a new Demon through similar means, ya know, I was actually highly anticipating this match. I wanted to see what S.A. would be like in the ring and in person. Bray is totally under utilized in the company right now. He no longer has the Wyatt family around, he's been removed from the title picture, so it was nice to see them reinventing Bray in a way that still fits Bray and not Husky Harris.

So, introduction to buildup, and now the main event. Mumps! An outbreak of a viral infection some are saying has been confirmed as mumps has taken the WWE by storm and possibly single handedly made the show even better than it would have been with the story. Mumps took out the Rotunda clan, including Bray Wyatt, brother Bo Dallas, and girlfriend announcer Jojo. Also infected and reported late in the week was headliner Roman B.D. Reigns. Was he car pooling with the real life Wyatt family? Why was he the 4th to be infected? Well, regardless we out the two headliners for Sunday. And really, it was a bad week for the superstars of WWE, with Kevin Owens having to leave the South America tour early for family matters and AJ Styles getting a stomach bug. But I have to applaud the company and the people who stepped up for the sake of the fans. And I really think that's what made this weekend so special is they under unfortunate circumstances, they pulled out something for the fans. Still in South America, The Game, Trips McH, laced up his boots and headed south to fill some of the roster void for SmackDowns live shows, which we can see from twitter following provided a hilarious moment that will be remembered with Hunter dancing and twerking with the New Day in ring, then hitting Kofi Kingston with a pedigree whilst barely even breaking a stride dancing his way up the ramp while Big E and Woody Woods mourned the lost of their fallen former Jamaican brother. The big news though was still the void for the televised events.

Answering the call was AJ Styles, fresh off a plane and all better tummy to fill in for Wyatt and General Manager, Hall of Famer, and Olympic Hero Kurt Angle for Reigns. I will not lie to you that learning the news the night before the show got me more buzzed than any promo could have. It left me with some doubts that Kurt would actually wrestle and could be written out somehow. I had speculations that the same could have done for any member of team Miz before the match as well, via backstage assault from remaining Shei (no ld since only 2/3 were present). I dremt about wrestling that night, even if it was the Rock returning, laying the smacket downith on the Miz and winning his IC title somehow. Dreams are dreams though and why would they make sense?

Styles/Balor was a surprise "dream match" people have been wanting to see. I am not owned by WWE so I can go ahead and call it how it is.... People were hyped to see the first two leaders of the notorious Bullet Club in action. We knew we were going to see an amazing technical display of skill as the two are some of the most talented and entertaining performers in the business. I will continue to say, I don't think I have ever seen AJ put on a bad match. I was anxious about what else the WWE would give us with the Bullet Club alumni in the ring, because you know they knew we all knew. I mean, you could visibly see a guy a few rows in wearing a "Cease and Desist" shirt, along with countless Bullet Club shirts. How much would Too Sweet nation be represented? Would they even? I mean, guys like the young bucks are still there friends. The Clubs invasion of Raw was toting a megaphone trying to rescue Gallows, Anderson, and Balor (not Styles as he is a Smack Down guy and would not have been in the building). I overall was impressed with the match and definitely lived up to my expectation of being the best wrestling performance of the night, and it was very much an emotional one at that. The crowd was loud before the match even got started with the "this is awesome" chants, and not long after that could clearly hear the "too sweet *woot woot*" chants. Amazing performance for such short notice. IF the match was planned and prepared for, I have no doubt that this would have been match of the year for WWE. I feel like Styles vs Cena still holds that spot, but dang it was good. Capping it off was something that has been teased ever since the club has had a presence in the company. You can see Styles, Gallows, and Anderson "too sweeting" each other at any given opportunity but never seen Balor connect one with them, getting a tease at last years Summer Slam, and once with the tag team in a battle royal you could see Finns hand start to cramp ever so slightly. Seeing the two after the match made me break down and yell at my wife to not look at me.... There was dust ok?

Earlier in the night, Kurt Angle was handed a tactile vest to more look in Shield fashion. Seeing him enter the ring in unity with the hounds was kinda funny to be honest. He looked very out of place. When he popped out behind the two with a big smile, he looked more like someone about to wrestle his first match ever. You could tell this wasn't going to be the single unit shield that works as one.... obviously.... but it became painfully clear just how much that would be the case as the match got started with the trio surrounding the ring as they do chairs in hands. Angle just looked... timid, not really sure of what he should do out there. Perhaps that was Kurt Angle, the GM at first, and it took being driven and broken through a table to bring us Angle of old, holder of the three I's. I didn't care much about Integrity or Intelligence, but I wanted to see some of that Angle INTENSITY. We got a bit of that as he brought back the triple suplexes and an ankle lock, but it wasn't that same fire. I couldn't fully expect to expect that, BUT I WANTED IT. I did feel some of that intensity when he made his return to the ring after being helped out by medics. Once his music hit and he dropped Sheamus on his back on the ramp followed by an a couple Olympic Slams, there was some fire. One moment right after that, when he stared into the ring, I saw intensity in his eyes. It was magical for me. That kick out he made from the skull crushing finally was great as well and didn't appear very fake like some other kick outs. Finally, Angle doing Angle and not afraid to have some fun, laying his best "oooowaaaa" Reigns cry to deliver the Olympic Shield Bomb and pinnig the Miz for the 3 count. I honestly expected the match would end with a tap out to the ankle lock delivered to Miz, but it worked.

I honestly hoped to finish this blog post before the first episode of Raw after the event leading into Survivor Series, but that didn't happen all too much. So, really, this post may just sound like a hot mess of nonsense by now. Oh well.

What I may expect going forward?

-Shield is going to be quite fond of Kurt Angle from now on (For some reason I keep spelling it Sheild through the entire post)

-I wouldn't be surprised to see Kurt Angle wrestle at Survivor Series now, leading team Raw with Shane McMahon leading Smackdown Live (Bonus pop points if they clear Daniel Bryan in time for the bout in GM v GM)

-Balor/Styles II at Wrestlemania.

-Sister Abigail story pick back up after Survivor Series

Media, Social Media, and Real Life - A Post for Kyle

This is my cousin Kyle. I stole this picture off Facebook. Facebook can be great at times. Thanks to Facebook, I've been able to connect with my cousins, friends, and family that I haven't had the chance to as a younger person. Thanks to Facebook, I've also been able to learn of and connect with family I've never knew. Able to connect, even if just a little, with siblings I never knew I had. Never knew I kinda have a younger brother... kinda. The sibling of a half sibling. We share common half siblings. That's enough to count as a sibling. I love how I get distracted like this and start going off point...

The most I really know about Kyle is generally what I see on Facebook. He is my cousin, and direct family to some of my family we are actually very close to. He's talked with me here and there on Facebook. Outside of that, I don't think I've actually seen him since we were kids. I just wanted to make that clear. I don't know much about the life he lives. I just know, he is family, he is young, he has a family, and he is currently fighting for his life.

For any who don't already know, Kyle was involved in a single vehicle motorcycle accident during the early morning of August 22. The accident which took place here in Rock Springs, WY, resulted in fractures to the skull as well as brain swelling and pressure within the skull. He was taken from Memorial Hospital (again, here in Rock Springs) to the University of Utah by helicopter (life flight, air med, etc.). He is currently being treated and monitored there, still within the first crucial week. From the reports I'm reading, things are looking positive for the situation. I won't say anything past that because really, I'm not entirely sure of how things are and I don't want to spread any misinformation.

That's really what this post is leading up to...

We are living in an age where things spread like wildfire, and people eat that up. SweetwaterNow (local digital news) is very good at reporting the local news, which also shares their headlines via Facebook. That's all good and dandy. They are not doing anything that the news paper, radio, TV reporters, or anything else wouldn't be doing. I can not blame them or place them at fault for nothing. In fact, the way they distribute the news is very effective. Without it, I doubt very much that I would know what's going on locally. But there is one thing that makes the news a villain.

Gossip

Is gossip new? Hardly. But the way gossip spreads is harder to contain than the plague back in the 1300's. One person reads the post, then chimes in with their entitled opinions. Kinda like a personal customized bumper sticker. "I got my opinions and I want to make sure you know it!" That's what I get out of it. The way social media works, as for the most part for those who haven't messed with there settings, will see anything that even mentions someone you know, giving you access to see all the positive, and the negative. In this case, seeing the negatives can defiantly add more heartache to those close to the individual. For my cousin, he's definitely suffering. His family, they're suffering too, unsure what the next minute will bring. Hearts are already weighed down. Next, the public chimes in, and makes that burden already heavier on all involved.

My life, my life choices, and my life style are very different from those of my family. Regardless as to if you view them as good or bad. I've paved my own life and broke away from things in my upbringing that could have sent me down a bad path in life. Reiterating what I said in the onset of this post... I don't much know about Kyle's
life outside of Facebook. All I can assume is from what I hear. But what you hear is only surface. What you know may only be what you think. Just like Shrek and onions, there is always layers. No one can know everything. No one can know what happened or whats inside a man.

Here is one thing I can tell you as fact about myself and truth.

This situation weighs heavy on my heart and mind. I was with my wives side of the family the day this happened. Although not close to him in general, I still had moments where things got really heavy. We were trying to host my visiting sister in law, and I was trying to be positive. I had to take a few times to step away and let my emotions go. Off and on, the emotions still get me and my eyes water. For Kyle, and all those close to him. Everything any source that says about the situation is irreverent to me. I'm not concerned with a pursuit, innocence, guilt, circumstances, conditions, blah blah blah. The only thing I hear is "Kyle is on life support", "Life Flight", "Critical condition", "Long road to recovery". The next thing being the emotion his friends and family are showing. Their pleas for him to live. Their love. Their prayers and well wishes. There are many suffering along side him. Gossip doesn't repair the wounds, it only furthers injury.

I'm not just saying this because this is family involved. I hope the same can be taken away and applied to all that is perceived. Any news article you may want to cast judgement on someone and feel entitled to share your opinion, regardless to if the truth is 100% or 0%. It's too easy for what may be fact to deteriorate into a fictional novel. Rarely will it paint the main character as a hero. I hope all will consider that when the begin to write their version of the story.

My heart and thoughts go out to Kyle, and I hope his eyes will soon be able to open and all these tears everyone are shedding will turn to joy. That same thought goes to all those who are affected by this accident, as well as anyone who even has to endure hard times like these. Never when things happen is only one person affected by the situation.

For all the family, you have nothing but good vibes and hopes coming from this one. An advocate for the positive. We definitely need more advocates of good in the world.

California Dreaming

My niece is graduating high school next week. Congrats on that by the way! There has been plans for about the past year on the family traveling down for the festivities. Graduation, beach, video games. My wife was making plans to get on the beach in all her mermaid glory, along with a photo shoot in which I wouldn't have to be the photographer. That's a big selling point for me! I'm not a huge fan of being a photographer. But, life happens and it sucks. This years hospital visit took away my collection of PTO I had saved for the summer, and took away a chunk of our income for a month, leaving us to catch up. Unfortunately, we had to choose between which state we would be traveling to this summer. In fact, I'm not even sure if I'll be able to do any of the short distance traveling for concerts. Should be able to get one in, but unsure past that.

Even though I tried to work whatever I could out to make the trip to California a possibility, in the end it just wasn't manageable. It was a bummer with just that in itself. I threw on more reasons to be bummed when I woke up this morning.

Now, a little disclaimer... I'm not a band wagoner. I don't become a fan of a sports team just because a star player emerges or they suddenly start being awesome. All-Stars, MVP's, that sort of stuff... I don't buy into it. So for basketball: I have been a die hard Utah Jazz fan for as long as I remember following basketball. As a fan seeing Stockton to Malone, and now still with the young group with potential. I'm not afraid to admit that they are "my team". I'm not afraid to say "my team" isn't in the playoffs, wasn't going to make it, etc. I try to remain realistic. Enjoy the game without an arrogance for the squad I support. But, I enjoy watching the success of other teams. Especially teams that have struggled. I have respect for a team that plays well. So, even though I have actively called Golden State a terrible team a few years back and talked smack, it was all in fun and quite honestly, yeah, they were terrible a few years back. So were the Clippers. I wasn't a fan of any California or Texan team. Now I have respect. They are fun to watch. Well... except for the Lakers..... scratch that..... Just Kobe...... Nat don't like Kobe....... So being a fan of the game, I'd like to clarify that it's been enjoyable to watch teams develop and to be humbled by my former arrogance. Why do I need to bring his out?

I believe where we were going to go was a town called Redding. That's a 3 hour drive from San Francisco from the looks of Google Maps. So when I woke up and saw the Warriors were going to the finals, realized the geographical location, and realized the NBA FINALS would be taking place the same time I was going to be in that same geographical location. So I say, "Oh! Why not make the effort to experience this opportunity?" So, revisited the idea, looked up ticket price for a.................... neeeever mind. Starting ticket prices for 1 ticket is $600...... So $1200 would get my wife in... I don't even have money for gas and dog sitters to get there in the first place! But... now I'm prepared for the future.

I will one day watch the NBA finals. If I start saving my monies and PTO now, I'll have plenty to stay in the city for the whole series and get tickets to each game... maybe even lower bowl! That is, this is saving for when my Jazz make it to the finals again. So I'm a ways out.

Internet Safety - You're Doing it Wrong...

Did you know your PC is equipped with a cup holder?

Your computer is cluttered with junk. Your internet homepage is not what it's suppose to be. Tool bars. Search bars. Fix My PC. If any of this sounds familiar, it's actually your own fault! That's right, I said it. You did it to yourself. But, I've done it too!

Coming up on March 10th, I will have been in my position as an IT Help Desk guy for a year. I see this so, so much, and it's so ridiculously easy to avoid. No one realizes they do this, so that is why I'm going to tell you some of the things your doing wrong to help have a healthier computer.

If anything in the introduction sounds like it applies to your computer, guess what, you more than likely have Malware.

"But Nat! I have anti-virus software that I paid lots of money to keep this stuff off my PC!"

Yeah, that's good. But, you installed it yourself! Allow me to present a story to serve as an illustration.

Your in your home and you decide you would really like a dog. You see a dog in the street that obviously appears to be a dog in need of a home. So, you jump at the first dog you see... after all, it's homeless, and it's really flippin cute! So you bring it into your house. But what you don't know when you bring in this stray dog is all the health issues it has. Viruses and stuff that you have to pay to return it to health. To go further, this dog isn't house broken. It chews up your belongings, it pees on your carpet, and guess what, being the sick stray puppy it is, it has frequent Hershey squirts.

Now who's to blame for this? This dog didn't just walk through your front door, take your money to pay for it's health, and soil your carpet. Is it the dog? Is it your door for not keeping it out? Nope. You let it in. So let's break it down technically.

The Dog
(Note: I have adopted stray animals and love them. This is for illustrative purposes only. I do not condone the adopting of stray pets.)
The dog can be any program your out looking for. It could be a program your updating, a program your trying to install, etc. You want a pet dog, but really is pulling the dog off the street the best choice? So here is one common example:

1) Oh hey! I need Firefox! What to click?

2) Highlighted is exactly where you screwed up!

I have many times have had people call me at work stating they suddenly have a bunch of weird programs show up. My first question? I always ask "have you tried downloading a new web browser?" The answer has always been yes. People haven't been entirely satisfied with Internet Explorer, or it doesn't suit there needs, so they go out and look for a different browser. The two common web browsers used on a Windows PC is Mozilla Firefox and Google Chrome. So they search for one of these browsers. Usually they will just type in what they are looking for in the URL bar, that is, the box that you type a web address into like "www.somethingoranother.com". So I went off and did just that and here is what I got [see image 1]. You get your search results back and naturally you click the first thing that contains words related to what your looking for. "Download Mozilla Firefox". Oh, ok! Yeah, you know you did. But take a closer look at this search result with me [see image 2]. I highlighted in this image where you screwed up. If you look closely to what you just searched for, chances are the first few results will have a feint "Ad related to..." above them, and the whole link will be a slight shade different. No wonder you clicked it. It looks exactly like a search result, not an advertisement! Whenever downloading, make sure to download directly from the publishers website. Many times if you click these ads, you won't even get installed what your looking for in the first place!

Your House
This is representing your computer and it's security. If you leave your front door wide open all the time, naturally you'll have all sorts of things coming in. Animals, bugs, the elements, people. So, you keep the door closed. What is more, you naturally lock your doors to keep your home that much more safer. Good for you! You have anti-virus software! Your blocking out all that stuff and junk that may come in if you just left it. But did you notice something? The dog? You go out for a new internet browser. New internet browsers just don't show up on your computer (don't argue with me... they just don't). So you have to unlock and open your door. You just gave permission by clicking "Yes" and "Install" for all this poop to soil your floor. Trust me, rubbing your computers nose in the malware proves ineffective. Same with squirting it with a water bottle when it misbehaves. Your home security is only as good as what you allow in and out. Same with your computer.

The Hershey Squirts
I would bring out the dogs viruses, but I'm sure you know a virus is a virus. It carries it in with it. But, I'm going to go a little off the path with the poop, since really, you have control over how much poop comes out of your proverbial dog. Except, I'm training YOU to be housebroken. Lets go through the installation process of something and see what we get.

Installing software can be a long, repetitive, drawn out process. Like, so annoying you just want to be done with it. So you just click "Next", "Next", "Next", "Next", "Yes", "Next", "Accept", "Next", "Next", "Install". Congratulations! You just accepted 6 malicious programs to be installed! Good luck getting them all off! (hehehehe) Here is just a very brief example of what your doing wrong... [see image 3]

3) You clicked "Next".... Didn't you!

I stopped mid installation of this program to show you this. This is downloaded from the publishers website, but look, your still getting crap installed on your computer. But, like I said, your impatient and it's boring so you click "Next", "Next", "Next", "Next", "Yes", "Next", "Accept", "Next", "Next", "Install" (Note: order may vary). But look closely at this shot. What do you see here? Go ahead, read the whole box and see everything you missed. They pretty well trick you into installing stuff! You just agreed to put in a lot of Yahoo (literally). You look for an option here to not install it, but all you have is quick and advance. Sometimes, this sort of stuff will give you an option to decline the services along with the installation options, but it's not there. But there is something different about this box that is tricky. Trust me on this one... Your brain is programmed to see that grey box as the "back" option. Your brain thinks that because that is habit. 98% of every other installation you have ever done, that has been the case. So when they swap out the back button with decline, you don't even see the decline! You may honestly be sitting there thinking "well, I guess I have to." and install it all anyways. I do tip my hat at the people who thought this trick up, using our neurological habits against us. Bravo jerks!

To sum it all up, I'm sure you now realized it is entirely your fault. You done goofed. Can't really report that to the cyber police when you kinda, ya know, give it to them. What did we learn? If your going to do something, PAY ATTENTION. I have no problem letting you pay me to clean your crap up, but if you keep doing this over and over..... Yeah..... Don't waste your money thinking your anti-virus is faulty and all that.

What else can you do to help? I'll give you a handy little tool I use all the time when I encounter those fun people that like to click "Next", "Next", "Next", "Next", "Yes", "Next", "Accept", "Next", "Next", "Install". Run it along side your anti-virus software to help keep a clean PC. Malwarebytes is a free program that does a pretty good job of cleaning things up. You can upgrade to premium, but I don't. Remember, look at all the boxes when your installing. Uncheck things like free trials and additional software. If your program actually needs this additional stuff to operate, it will let you know when you try to open it. You can find a free download at https://www.malwarebytes.org/mwb-download/ (note: the button for the free is just grey... not deactivate... More neuro-trickery!) So...... stop it.